What if you are in a relationship with someone for the past four to five years, and both of you are in your twenties? Is it too early to think of marriage?
That was the gist of my college batchmate’s Facebook status this afternoon.
The day before I came across this status, I was thinking of my friends who have been in a relationship with the same person for five years. I can safely assume that they have been boyfriend-girlfriend since high school days. Most of us have already finished college and some of those relationships are still going strong—very impressive.
However, while some couples see four to five years as sufficient enough to make the big jump (marriage, that is), this does not apply to young couples who are barely starting out in a new chapter in their lives. That might be the double standard. Some late 20s guy meets a girl, goes out for x months and proposes marriage.
While the youngsters have devoted much of their time to the one special person for several years, the times have changed. Society now dictates that getting married in the early 20s is, well, too early. Some couples won’t bother to follow or be bothered about it at all), but most couples will just have to wait. Major concerns of equal weight include stability and maturity. Who wouldn’t want a fairy tale romance with the “sweep-off-you-feet” feeling? There is reality to face–wedding arrangements, house, other finances–the list goes on. Then there’s discovering one’s self after university life, pursuit of dreams and achieving greater things, with much more freedom.
Waiting for the big day to materialize might be a struggle for either/both parties. One might grow impatient in waiting for the engagement while counting the years the relationship has spanned. Most of the time, the wedding comes when the guy is ready (the proposal). It’s not like a woman would take that role and bend on one knee with a ring for their man. Double standard again. As the years go by in the relationship, these should be discussed, so that each other’s expectations are managed. To put it simply, “time frames” must be established to avoid “unnecessary feelings” to grow while waiting.
It’s too early to think of these things, at least for me, but if there’s one thing to believe, it’s a line from a Session Road song that goes, “Kung tayo, tayo talaga.”